jumping in...

Last night I was snuggled up with my 5 year old and, having spent the day watching him intensely work on a book of animals, which we then had to read several times at bed time, I asked him "How do you know when something really makes you happy?". He immediately started squirming in my arms and said, with a very excited voice "Well, I kinda-like feel it. I get shaky, like when I'm frozen."

Yeah, that's it. You kinda feel it. So he gets shaky and I get a chills-like feeling inside my body. It's that simple, isn't it. No need to analyze the why and what for. Is it really necessary to know? He reminded me that what's important is to listen to your body...your heart...your intuition and you can't go wrong. So I listened and I jumped and signed up for Vivienne's class. Now I feel like an excited 5 year old.

Releasing the bottleneck...

As I sit here struggling to recapture the thoughts that came so perfectly last night I am hit with a wall of frustration and overwhelm that has been a running theme for me over the past few weeks. How I wish I could sit here and write eloquently about what I am feeling, but am slowly settling into accepting what is coming to me (in a 'stop forcing it' kinda way). I have been struggling for the past several weeks with feeling tugged by my hopes and dreams...like I should be doing ‘X’ when it really feels better to be doing ‘Y’. It's like I'm sucking the fun out of my dreams and turning them into struggles (because that's what adults do, right...struggle with their work instead of enjoy it. If it's fun and playful then it's really a hobby).

I want to create more artwork by setting more goals for myself. I want to take this painting class and this photography class. I want to to have a beautiful blog, an inspiring blog, one with beautiful photos and a weekly schedule of events, one through which I can fully express myself and grow. I want to be part of a community and make lifelong connections.

Last night I was reading Andrea's post about what if we don't know what our dreams are and it hit me that...

1. I'm actually really lucky to have too many thoughts and dreams (instead of seeing myself as scatter brained, chaotic and a general all-around mess)

and

2. I'm totally creating a bottleneck. Too much coming in and not enough going out.

It helped so much to see that my current trying-to-accomplish-all-dreams-at-once method is actually making me unable to do any of them effectively.

How refreshing it feels to realize that it’s okay to give myself permission to set aside some of these dreams, knowing that their time will come….and to allow myself to focus fully on one or two things that I am really passionate about currently.

So, for now I'll take a deep breath, release the bottleneck I've created and then place some beautiful flowers in the bottle, for that's really what belongs in there.

Exerpt from 'The Very Happy Mommy'

In the light of her 40th birthday, a mom of 4 wanted rest and laughter.

So, on Friday she got herself a massage, checked into a hotel with her husband and went to see Ester's Follies.

On Saturday, she did the SOCO thing where they shopped and ate.

And on Sunday, she...

took photos of inspirational quotes

from the hotel & the side of a coffee shop

picked up some amazing cupcakes from Sugar Mama's

and celebrated her birthday with her wonderful family

PS. I had The Very Hungry Caterpillarstuck in my head when writing this...hope it helps it make a bit more sense when reading.

How do you blossom?

"Because women have a soul-need to express themselves in their own soulful ways, they must develop and blossom in ways that are sensible to them without molestation from others."

...from Women who Run with the Wolves

I came across this quote when reading last night. It was so timely as I am in a place where I am struggling with 'is this what I really want or am I doing this because I think it's what I 'should' be doing'. I'm finding that I am a lot better at listening to myself these days and forgiving myself for not being what I think others want me to be. I know I'm finding it 'easier' these days because of the Mondo Beyondo Dream Lab class I'm taking and Brene's book, but it really makes me wonder what other people do to remind themselves to stay true to themselves in the face of the world (as it can feel sometimes).

Be everything...

To my 5 year old bad ass self (and the one in all of us), you are everything.

Clear Vision...

The other day I was thinking about the power of a clear vision or power of intent. It all started when I walked into a store and my children quickly pointed out to me that Florence + the Machine was playing over the satellite radio. When we left the store and got into the car, Florence was playing on the car radio.

When I first came across Florence this past summer she was not all over the airwaves like she is now. I listened to her so much this past summer that the summer of 2010 is fondly referred to in my household as the summer of Florence (not really...okay, the fondness could just be my own). Now I hear Florence while in the line at the grocery store, in the ice cream parlor, at the pet store and on the car radio.

So here's where my thinking is going...you know how when you are pregnant, or looking for a new car or really into something in particular. I mean really into it, so that it's on your mind a lot. All of a sudden that something seems to appear all around you (all the other pregnant mamas, or Toyota minivans, or cool red boots). Then you realize that those things were probably always there, it's just that because it's on your mind so much now that you see it more. So, and here's the biggie, does this work the same way for the positive things that we want in our lives. You hear all the time about attracting the things you want, but I'm now wondering if those things are already there, all around us, but we just aren't focused on them enough. Because when we do focus or get in the flow or the groove of our truth, life's pretty damn amazing. Don't you agree?

Photo Friday

Human form...

...comes in all shapes and sizes.

Getting into the swing of things...

One of my goals this year is to learn to work playfully. To just listen to what feels right in my projects. I am really inspired by Cathy's One Piece per Week project and would like to follow suit. So today I took some time to work on preparing several boards for future projects.

It's my hope that by always having several of these prepared I will always have something to work with when I have the time to jump in. Just learning how to get it all together. I believe you can teach old dogs new tricks (not that i am old...uhm), especially when there is something fun on the line, like playing with art supplies.

Wordless Wednesday

That's one for inner wisdom...

I am as giddy as my children on Christmas morn! I just found out that I won a spot in Tara Sophia Mohr's workshop. Thank you so much Shelley for hosting the giveaway and to Tara, for the giveaway. I am so excited!

I stepped out of that innner criticism of 'you won't win, there are already so many people ahead of you' and into 'I have just as much chance as anyone else.' and see where it lead me.

Believe in your inner wisdom.

Burstin' with excitemet...

Okay, I've got my slippers on, cup of tea next to me (in my new Alice in Wonderland cup), Carla Bruni playing and all of my Little Critters in their appropriate places of care, play and education today...it feels good to be back. Back in this space to breath and create. I took a bit of time off from blogging in order to let the holidays consume me (but not chew me up and spit me out like usual, see I'm learning).

I am bursting with excitement these days (ack, sounds corny, but hey...). I have been thinking about my 'word' or 'theme' for the year. Last year it was 'small steps'. This year I think I'm going with 'practice courage'. I'm in this great place where things just seem possible. Last week I bought Kelly Rae Roberts' ebook (she was having a great special on it) and have felt things just opening up ever since and the reminder to stay strong or courageous just seems to be appropriate in order to keep things moving in the right direction. Her ebook really got me thinking about what I want my creative business (and life) to look like and this lead me to begin to really look at the fears that keep getting in the way of life opening up in the way that I want it to. After I was done journaling about it all the other day, I felt like I could actually taste or feel what it is that I want (sounds strange I know, but that's really how it felt). I began to do a little looking around at some links and came across the Mondo Beyondo Dream Lab class with Brene Brown. After watching this video with Brene I jumped and signed up for the class.

I keep thinking about a story a friend once told me. She had been raising her son as a vegetarian until her husband slipped him some bacon one day at a restaurant. After that she said her hopes of him being a vegetarian were all gone. Something about 'once you have bacon you'll never go back'. That's how I feel about creativity and art. You'd have to drag me kicking and screaming back to the way things were before. I love the feeling of constantly learning and seeing things in new ways and the little inspirations that come with every day life. I love the feeling of paint and glue and pastels on my fingers. i love the feeling when you are settling down in bed and an image pops in your head that you have to get up and draw or describe so that you can follow up on it later. I love looking at the walls in my house and envisioning putting collages and words directly on them. I love the connection that creativity has reignited in myself with my family, others and the world around me. I love how it makes me feel proud to be a woman.

Photo Friday

Suburbia, Dr Seuss style...

Tribute to Andy Goldsworthy

While spending some much needed outside time after school, my 5 year old decided to make art with the leaves (see, there are positive sides to being lazy about taking care of things like raking up the leaves). I, of course, couldn't resist telling him about Andy Goldsworthy.

A detail view. (love the heart shaped rock)

Resting amidst his creation.

Happy New Year!